Living and loving forward

A little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since that time, life has been one big roller coaster. There have been extreme highs and a few menacing super scary drops. Yep – breast cancer took me for a ride and changed my life forever.

That sounds dramatic. Changed my life forever. But it did. Probably in ways I don’t yet understand.  But I’m pretty sure I would not have chosen to drink the Sacred Juice (chemo), lose all my hair, or have my breasts cut off. However, all we’ve got are the cards we are dealt and there you have it…life.  It is what it is. What we do with it is our choice.

My gratitude for healing and good health overflows. I’ve written about it, talked about it endlessly, prayed over it. I am blessed in more ways than I can count.  I’ve read that cancer is an unexpected gift that brings us blessings and gifts disguised as infusions, needles, pills, stitches, and scars.  Amen.

Now, only 8 weeks after my last surgery, I feel myself moving on and bringing with me all that I’ve learned and all that I treasure.  But even as I move past the horror of the past year, I am still fearful. Fearful that it will return and I’ll have to do it all again. Fearful that I will have to hear those awful words again that set my world spinning. Recurrence.  The worst fear of all.

The question is how to move forward in spite of the fear. Simple. It’s the same as moving forward after the diagnosis into the treatment. That was scary as hell. But I did it anyhow. I took a long deep breath, cried more than a few tears, and lunged into what I knew I had to do in order to live.

It’s the same now…I will take a deep breath and lunge forward into the rest of my life.  Because it will be what it will be. So why not have a good time along the way?

Smile!