Chemo: Round Two

Two chemo cycles down, six to go. I've started marking them on the calendar. It helps to see an end to my chemo hell.

Still, knowing there may be more chemo in my future depending on how gracefully my chemo cells die baby die. Recurrence. I'm not even rid of my present before I'm considering my future. Is that pessimistically weird or is it realistic?

Chemo was on Wednesday. I went back today for the Neulasta shot and additional IV fluids so maybe I won't crash this time on day 4 like last time. No crashes. They are cruel. They make me think I'm bitch enough to handle chemo, and then remind me that I'm nothing but a wuss. Smack me down.

Worst side effect so far this time is the fatigue and thirst. Got a little something extra in the IV today for the break through nausea. WooHoo. That's the next best thing to a glass of really good Chardonnay.

I've discovered that when you are touched by death (not my own, thankfully) and cancer (my own, unfortunately), you develop a really morbid sense of humor. So you'll just have to hang in there with me in that regard. Ain't going away any time soon.

I hated the port initially. The total failure of anesthesia when implanted and the on-going soreness put it high on my S list. But now, I'm loving it. I don't even feel the prick when they put the needle in and we use it for the blood draws, chemo poison, fluids, shots, etc.  Hated it now I love it. See? Even the loss of a tiny little pain prick is a win.

Hated it now I love it. That can be said for quite a few things in my life, interestingly. Like the chemo suite at my cancer center. It used to seriously intimidate me. Now, it is strangely comforting to me. It's the place we're gonna kick my cancer in the ass. Yes. It is.