I finally have the skinny on the chemo. It took a long time it seems to get an answer, and at this point I have only half the picture. But it's enough to make me feel like there is a plan in play and I'm not hanging in cancer limbo.
I have a "Breast Health Navigator", Dawn, who works for my oncologist. Her job is to navigate me through all the stuff, appointments, questions, various docs, and minute details that make up a cancer treatment plan. She's wonderful. I'm really appreciating having a single point of contact instead of a team of people with no one seemingly in charge.
Dawn made a very important point yesterday while we discussed the plan. I was asking questions about how truly wicked this course of chemo would be. She turned the conversation around on me and pointed out the obvious.
It's less about how crappy I'm going to feel - or look - during chemo. What's a few minutes of puking over the toilet every couple of weeks? Or a little fatigue or even a few sores in my mouth or fingernails that fall out or a shiny bald head. In comparison, those things are totally insignificant.
What's really important is that the chemo will save my life.
They always tell you to think positively about cancer. That's especially hard to do early in the diagnosis, I've read. I've certainly found that to be true. I felt just a little bit chided when Dawn made this very important point. But after thinking about it a few minutes, I realized how very right she is.
What's a few days of feeling puny when I get to LIVE? Would I rather be dead?
Hell no.
Point taken.
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